between

Time to whine! Working life sucks! 3 days into it and yes i am whining. Actually, it's just my luck. The other person sitting at the corner of the other department was reading newspapers for 4 straight hours while i crack my head trying to figure out how to say no to the amendments of the clauses.

Being away from the house naturally means i have less time to tend to my toon in ffxi, Dominus. Boy how i regret not getting more things done on him, instead of going AFK all the time clocking in those outrageously high play time. Well, perspective wise though, I have somewhat put some discipline into my 'life', sleeping early, waking up early, having less than 3 hrs per day to spend in front of the pc i like doing so much way back then. Now Dominus don't spend time in the game afk anymore, every moment he has, he's doing stuffs which i think... he should be doing.

For those who are wondering, i am Dominus.

So why do i like playing games so much, which by the way that is the question my dad keeps asking me all the time. There are many types of games out there, from racing to simulation and crap. I don't like the conventional japanese RPG as much, compared to the computer RPGS. They're different, think of Dungeons and Dragons. As much as i like the idea of beat 'em up types, they get stale really fast compared to story typed games. Real time strategy, well, it depends on the title. If it has a good background story to it, even though the game play sucks, i'd at least complete the game once, for the story sake.

That much said, I guess i like playing games, not just any games, but games that allows me to be the central part of a story. Some, likes to know the story from reading, just like how my girl likes reading harry potter. Some, likes to watch them on TV, Drama, movies and the likes. Most drama nowadays bore me, i like fantasy typed setting. Modern is just too, familiar. I like being part of a story, the kind of story that i like. At least that's how the games i play appeals to me.

Then came the concept of MMOG, abbreviation for mass multiplayer online games. Final fantasy XI came and become one of the best MMORPGs i have played. Why i liked it so much? It's not a single player's game. It's a game, driven by a story, in a setting that i liked, and i can play it with alot of other people. Think of it as a platform for people to be part of a society in a setting that is completely different from the everyday life. It gives fantasy a new meaning, one we can be part of, that I can be part of.

My toon, or my avatar, character... it may just exist within the game, but the value of having one can only be appreciated by others who shares the same interests as me, and i'm definitely not alone.

for everything... there is...

For every hero, there will be a hundred villains. Now, hundred is just an estimate and it is not necessarily restricted to villainy only, other less fortunate events such as natural disasters (or any disasters) and . Even in politics, when the government is 'evil', our hero would be someone who fights for the citizens' rights. So I thought, the word hero is not often used, but when used it carries an overrated weight.

Save for incidents beyond our control (e.g. natural disasters), why is there a need for a hero to begin with in the first place? Since when do we need to save ourselves from each other? Yet, since the beginning of time, we have not stopped hurting each other, to the extent of killing each other for whatever reasons but always motivated selfish gains.

Humanity itself is questionable. It is beautiful, yet it is flawed to the extent where I consider to be rotten. Compare it to a girl, who has the face likened to an angel, whose looks can be the definition of innocence itself yet she sells her body for fame and wealth. This is not to say that she is by all means is evil or 'bad'. Not trying to label myself as a champion of morality, but in short I just think it's a waste. but one has got to do what he has to do, or her.

Then my thinking shifted to another train of thoughts, just like a train changing rails but more frequent. Then I thought why has our parents (probably mostly in Asia I don't know much about the west) keep on telling us when we are young and little (of course, vulnerable as well) that if we study hard (well now they say smart so I don't know) and get good grades our life is secured. My grades are not good, but they are not too bad either and I had to learn myself (through hearing stories from other people and how things are today) that being someone in life, not someone important or famous, just a person, is god damn difficult. Somehow books are the least important thing when it came to this. Why feed us with 'lies' when they know themselves how hard it is, when they could have told us what is it really like... yet, how could they? By the time they are done procrastinating, we are all grown up, stumble upon this cold hard truth ourselves and this vicious cycle goes on and on.

Almost sounds like I am some guru, actually I have too much free time on my hands, nothing more.

Here's a question, how much do you care for the people you think you care, and the stranger next to you, and yourself? How far would you go?

Fairy Tales

Just thought how things would have been if all of them would go all the way like how our parents said it would be; study hard, get good results, and you'll be successful. Unfortunately, by now we all know that's just a fairy tale. Our seniors would probably agree that in order to be successful you gotta be really good at ass kissing, and of course be street smart.

Are things really that different from the versions we heard from our parents? Were they censoring certain details to prevent us from becoming what they are afraid we would, and that we already are, already did? That's pretty much no longer an issue, considering most of us have gone an entirely different paths we have hoped for.

As for me, as time goes by I realise how dark this world can be. Despite how the sun can burn so brightly illuminating every corner of the earth, bringing along warmth, it only lights up half of it. The other dark remains dim. Sometimes, the moon is shy showing up, almost like it's given up save for a few peeps. We, through technological manipulation and means managed to reproduce light, yet they're never bright enough in the night. Shadows lurking in the corners. That's only a faint description of things. The evil that we humans harbour has manifested itself that puts the shades of night to shame. It is as though the shadows we produce every time light shone at us are merely a compensating mechanism for who we are and what we have brought upon this world.

No longer the idea of courage, chivalry, honor are heralded in its former regards and glory, or has it ever been? Nowadays, to help another out of any of the higher echelons of morality would only associate one with stupidity and foolishness. Justice is a mouth service, when human lives are given a commercial value with varying worths. What about truth? Well, truth only matters as much as we humans matter to it, if not the next most significant importance would be how truth is invaluable to history. After all, what is truth to people who does not have interests or does not stand to gain?

Are all lost? I truly doubt it, for every child is born, their face is only tainted with innocence, and all hope is poured on them that they will grow up to be everything we're not, or if you think you're good enough, for what you could've been; better, even when we realise that the prospect of it all ending the way we hope it would is slim bordering to none. We might have not have anticipated it anyway.

Enough rant, song of the moment: See U Again by ATB.

FFXI: Vunkerl's Trudge

Here I am in Vunkerl Inlet, killing gnoles by the hundreds only to get a perfect claw. Why? All because of this stupid moblin (yeap, a different kind of goblin) wants it in exchange of an item that the Senator requested me to retrieve.

I swear these gnoles are an annoying bunch. They can cure themselves to full, (yep i had to pick the worst moon phase to fight them, Full Moon :1.9-1.99k Cure) things are starting to get boring. I might just head back and help Noillurie out, killing those beastmen and what not.

Vana'diel is not very interesting today, as you can tell from my earlier remarks. The Japanese are busy doing their end game stuffs (no i couldn't join, i don't understand what the frick they are spouting) and the Americans are still asleep. Europeans are weird, and Fred (European, too) wouldn't get his connection fixed.

Everyone's busy with something, and I'm busy with something boring. Here comes another Gnole.

Bolts and Thunderclap

To those who lives in the capital of Malaysia, this ain't something new. Especially since the past few days, thunderstorm became a norm.

When lightning strikes and the thunder is heard immediately, you know it's near. Truly awe inspiring and at the same time devastating. Shock and awe (no pun intended) is aptly used to describe this frequent and destructive phenomenon.

No, this isn't a post on the dynamics one of the oldest weather activity on earth. It just occurred to me that I should talk bout it for a few since it's been going on for a while. It is a hassle whenever it happens because i gotta pull the god damn plug. Internet, games, music and all sorts of electronic and digital entertainment = nada.

Minus the complaints and rants (i shouldn't be emo at 7pm of the day), I should probably spend the time to think of what to do next, because even as I'm updating the blog I'm feeling bored as hell. FFxi is lackluster at this hour because the Americans are asleep and they wouldn't wake up until 5 hours later (yeap they wake up at noon) and i can't play with Japanese simply because I don't understand the language they speak.

... Now I just reminded myself of the coming exams in July, my 'final' push in this life to allow myself to set foot in the working society, no i'm not very enthusiastic about it. I should probably be studying, 'should probably' here should have been 'must'.

Every year is the same shit, and I probably have to deal with more shit, and eventually to handle other people's shit (that'd be part of my career) until I decide to quit or I die. Now that isn't very nice. As my friend once said "i aim to retire by 30". God I hope I could too.

My friend called me an alien after this new haircut (i only assumed it's the hair). Sweet, now i look out of this world.

Reviews and Rants

Love how short goodbyes are, if you're wondering what i'm talking bout, refer to my previous post. I'm blogging from the very piece of technological device i loathe.

Anyway, just came back from BTS after watching this chinese movie, resurrection of the dragon, a spin off (sorta) of the famed Romance of the Three Kingdoms. I'm not gonna reveal any spoilers here, save that the movie isn't based on the literature piece at all. Certain events, yes but even those are downplayed. Most of them are made up. God knows why they'd want to ruin such a nice tale, that is beyond me. I know i felt kinda dumb for buying the ticket. Maggie Q didn't make it worth my time since i don't have hots for her, the only thing I feel glad would be the opening theme, which doesn't fit the Three Kingdom background at all.

Save for a few 'touching' scenes, the entire movie is crap. Every scene is rushing from one to the other. My, I'd think that if the viewers do not have certain basic grasp of the Three Kingdom storyline, they'd be lost somewhere in the show. This is basically an action war movie, yet the actions are a major disappointment. Choreography sucks, it's actually chaos and senseless blood spilling. I was half expecting flying limbs, severed head (sorry if this appears to be grotesque, I was only banking on the fact that at least the movie would stay true to the action scenes as pictured in the novel). Blood were spilling and i was wondering where is it from. Bodies are thrown all over but I seriously do not know why, just for the sake of flying bodies yep.

If you've watched all the movies out there and want to spend whatever coin's left in your pocket, by all means go for it. I wouldn't recommend it, not after I've watched another better Chinese war movie, pseudo war actually. Assembly beats this movie hands down.

They've ruined my favorite character from the Three Kingdoms series, I hate them.

O w n e d

*title* big time. Laptop decided it was a good time to go into shock, again. Several resuscitation attempt to revive it failed miserably. Had to call in the pro, the experts in this sorta dealings to help me look at it.

Initially, it all seemed fine. The blue screen of death (first BSoD that is) appeared and I was kinda shocked. Previously, whenever my laptop displays any near death signs, or eventually died, I could bring it back to life simply by just giving it some time to breathe. When the death screen appeared, I quickly looked up the net for those DIY solutions, home made remedies. Somehow i came across what they call it, the Window's debugging tool, downloaded it and did whatever i was supposed to. Post the log of what took place to the pro, a friend of mine in the States who was kind enough to assist, and told me that it looked like some network driver problem. Fixed that, and went back to FFxi happily.

I thought that's the end of my laptop's death threats. No more crashes, freezes, all in all, end of most of my frustrations. So, as I was standing beside my latest favourite NPC, the relic GK wielding Elvaan, Noilurie, pounding on the wolves (she got wtfpwnt later by the boss tho), my laptop did it again. This time, it was conveniently after Noi's untimely yet expected demise to Anders, I was raised shortly after Anders beat me to within an inch of my cyber life. Ok, so it died, the same blue screen popped up. I waited for it to restart and then starts running the debug tool again, then it popped the death screen, restarting straight away.

Friend told me I can do a recovery of the C drive with the internal partition by Alt + F10, that got my hopes up. I was disappointed when I found out that Acer did not supply me with a recovery CD for times like this, when I decide to go for a wipe and build things back from scratch. So I, with much anticipation, hit the power button and spam the two designated keyboard button, only to end up in ScanDisk. I thought this was normal procedure, so I let it scan and when it was done, I thought "ooo shit now i can finally say goodbye to all this crap", and I did. Only, not in the way I had hope it would be. Alt + F10 = Nada. Turns out, it's either they forgot to load it back for me the last time I sent it for repair (yea, major re-offender my laptop is), it's broken, or it's just a myth written in the User's Guide and therefore it is non existent.

That was the last straw, although I kept clinging on to whatever faith I have left, like an AIDS patient saying "I'M GONNA LIVE! I WON'T FKN DIE!" when the doctors starts shaking their head while looking at me, giving me the looks that says "nothing we can do for this loser now". Whatever faith that was left, has left me when my laptop is hell bent on dying. It reboots itself, and the screen goes blank. No words, no lights, no nothing. Tapped the few power button twice, the fan runs, I could hear electronics buzzing, but no light. It's like a brain dead person, the heart runs but the brain is out. This ain't the first time it became 'brain dead', but I suspect it would be the last time. As it turns out, I'm not too keen to use that piece of metal trash again, and my guts tells me that it would have wished for the same as well.

Nice knowing you, Acer Aspire 5673, my 4999 bucks, my 2 years of nothing that works right, broken fan, broken harddisk, dead pixels, broken wifi although i got most of those major organs rep'ed. Rest in peace, soon in pieces, and sleep with the fishes.